Press Release from The Space Hag
Following her acquittal in the 25-month long trial for the murder of her former husband, the Stoker, lawyers for The Space Hag have released this statement:
“This fine jury has acquitted me of the false charge of murdering my beloved first husband, the Stoker. As I have contended all along, I am innocent of this gruesome crime and these jurors must have realised that the charges against me have been trumped up by authorities who have sought to falsely imprison me and then put me to death in the lethal gas chamber of this state.
“I will never stop until the dastardly criminals who cowardly murdered the Stoker in his sleep are brought to justice, and to that end I will offer a sum of $700,000 from my inheritance of the Stoker’s $50,000,000,000 legacy and industrial empire to anyone who is able to bring the perpetrator of this hideous crime to justice, dead or alive. Preferably dead.
“I also want to thank my dearest former tennis coach Ghibrahn Hines, who has been by my side since the Stoker’s horrible death for the support he has given me as a friend and subsequently as my beloved second husband through this unbearable ordeal.”
24 March, 2008
After releasing the statement, Ghibrahn Hines and The Space Hag flew in the couple’s Airbus A380 to their private continent.